


I'm in transit, floating stranded

by permets_tu



Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Missing Scene, Sexual Tension, ok it isn't too angsty but its not a happy scene either B)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 17:47:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3945946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/permets_tu/pseuds/permets_tu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something crumbles in Washington, and he closes his eyes briefly before saying, in a falsely calm voice, "I know it's hard to deal with and easy to forget, but I am your superior," here he takes two wide strides until he is standing right next to Ben, grabs his arm, and leans in close, "and I deserve to be treated as such." Washington isn't holding his arm too hard but his grip is firm and Ben can feel Washington's breath and the air is suddenly charged with an electricity that was not present before. He has to take a breath to compose himself before he steels himself and defiantly holds Washington's gaze.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm in transit, floating stranded

Ben has been told that Washington wants to see him; when he walks into Washington's tent he is half petrified with fear about what's going to happen. He already knows what Washington's going to say, at least the base of it, but he's scared despite himself. He knows that he's screwed up with Abe, and that Abe's capture could bring down the whole operation, and that he's disappointed Washington, _(damn it, Abe, how could you be so careless, look where we are now)_ but he can't bear to hear all of those things from Washington's lips. Ben's tired, tired of this war and tired from lack of sleep. He knows that he has made a mistake, but he also knows that he can do better, and in the future _will_ do better, and he knows that if Washington yells at him he might just break.

"Benjamin," says Washington, sternly. He looks incredibly displeased and Ben's heart is beating harder than he can remember it ever having beat before.

"Yes, sir," he says, mentally bracing himself for what is going to come. 

"You know why you are here, I presume," Washington says.

"Yes, sir," Ben replies, looking at the ground.

"Look at me, Tallmadge," says Washington, sharply, and Ben flinches at the usage of his last name before looking up and meeting Washington's eyes. His displeasure seems to have shifted to anger, and Ben is scared.

"You are no longer to be head of intelligence," Washington says, and Ben's heart falls to his feet. He can't say that he is surprised, exactly, but the words still feel like a blow to the chest.

"What? Sir-"

"You don't get to contest this, Tallmadge. I do not find any pleasure in demoting you, but your misplaced trust in Abraham Woodhull has jeopardized the fate of our intelligence operations."

"Sir-"

"I am not finished. Because of Mr. Woodhull going rogue, he has been captured. You know this. You also know that the success of these operations is paramount to the success of us winning the war. Your trust in Mr. Woodhull was clearly misplaced. It is irrelevant that you two were friends and it is irrelevant that he is a patriot. I do not doubt that he wants independence like the rest of us. But one obviously needs more than just a desire for independence to be an adequate spy. Tallmadge, if you could not even command obedience from a friend that you hand-picked for the task, then what hope do you have for gaining it from any other asset?"

"Sir, it wasn't Abraham's fault, he-"

"How was it not his fault? Think, Tallmadge. I know that he is determined and he is your friend and you care for him, but those are not good enough prerequisites for the task he was given to do. Do you see where his failure has left us? And left him?" 

"Yes, sir, I know. But we can fix this, we can save him."

"How, Tallmadge? Do tell. We cannot afford to lead an attack on the British to save a failed spy."

"I-I do not know, sir," Ben says, fighting the urge to look away, "But there-"

"Exactly. You don't know," Washington says, rubbing his eyes in frustration. Ben wants to disappear, he wants to sink into the floor in despair, but he keeps his chin high. He has to. He’s already lost his position; he has to hold on to his dignity. "You don't have a plan. Sometimes optimism isn't the best way of thinking, Tallmadge."

"What I was trying to say, sir, is that there is a British Major in Setauket who... Abe told him that he was pretending to be a patriot to get intelligence for the British. I know that being a double agent of sorts isn't the smartest course of action, but he trusts Abe, amazingly enough, and for a British major he isn't that bad and so if we can just get him to vouch for Abe's innocence then we can free him and... And save everything."

"Ah, yes, Major Edmund Hewlett, correct?" There is something strange in the tone of Washington's voice, and Ben wonders how he knew who Hewlett is. 

"Yes, sir."

"Do you really not know about Hewlett's current situation?" asks Washington. Ben's heart plummets.

"What happened?"

"He was captured by some of our men because he killed one of our officers, signed a letter in his blood, and pinned his tongue to the letter. He's being held for wartime atrocities."

Ben's eyes widen in disbelief and he feels a sense of panic beginning to set in. That's completely uncharacteristic of Hewlett: he would never do something that horrible. And without Hewlett to save Abe... without Hewlett, the operation was doomed. "Sir-" he begins to say.

"What is it now, Tallmadge," says Washington, exasperated. Ben ignores his tone.

"Major Hewlett would never do that, sir. He is not that horrible of a man, I promise. I assure you that he would never, he must have been framed, he-"

"Damn it, Tallmadge," Washington says, hitting the table with his hands and standing up. Ben flinches but continues to hold his gaze. "There is no evidence that he was framed. You cannot just assume things to fit your narrative-"

"With all due respect, sir," says Ben, willing his voice to not shake, "You don't know Hewlett. He would never do such a thing."

"And we are expected to believe your word over hard evidence?" asks Washington. He moves away from behind his desk and Ben swallows really hard. He doesn't want to fight but he needs Washington to understand, he needs-

"Yes, actually," Ben says, unwavering, "Because it would be entirely unfair to kill an innocent man because of something that could easily be forged."

"Are you really that naive, Tallmadge?" asks Washington. Ben swallows hard again.

"No," Ben says, deciding to not finish his sentence with "sir". "I am not being naive. I know him, _a knowledge which you do not have,_ and I am entirely convinced of his innocence."

Something crumbles in Washington, and he closes his eyes briefly before saying, in a falsely calm voice, "I know it's hard to deal with and easy to forget, but I am your superior," here he takes two wide strides until he is standing right next to Ben, grabs his arm, and leans in close, "and I deserve to be treated as such." Washington isn't holding his arm too hard but his grip is firm and Ben can feel Washington's breath and the air is suddenly charged with an electricity that was not present before. He has to take a breath to compose himself before he steels himself and defiantly holds Washington's gaze.

"If we do not save Hewlett, an innocent man will be put to death and we will never be able to save Abe and we will be compromised. We will be doomed, we have to-"

Washington is still holding onto Ben's arm and Ben continues to look up at the taller man, feeling like he is buzzing with energy and held-in anger. "We?" asks Washington, "You are no longer head of intelligence, Tallmadge."

Ben winces at the reminder and angrily tries to pull his arm away from Washington. Washington doesn't let him go. Ben feels anger coursing through his veins, and there's something else, something deeper, and he has to forcibly stop himself from yelling at Washington. He breaks their eye contact and looks past Washington's shoulder.

"They have asked me to sign off on an execution order for the Major," says Washington, taking Ben's chin in his hand to make him look up at him. Ben's heart flutters a bit in his chest. "And I do not feel compelled to release an accused murderer on the behalf of a failed spy."

Ben feels a rush of anger, horror, and sadness at those words. "You can't," he says softly, and Washington releases his chin.

"I can, Tallmadge. But I haven't made a decision yet," says Washington, and Ben is ready to get down on his goddamn knees and beg if he has to. 

"Please, sir," Ben says, and he thinks he sees a flash of compassion in Washington's eyes for a second, or maybe that's just pity.

"You are no longer head of intelligence," says Washington, "And even if you were, you would have no bearing on my decision."

Ben is losing his resolve and has to stop himself from shaking or storming out of the tent or breaking into tears. "Why don't you trust me?" he asks. 

"Because you haven't given me any reason to trust you, Tallmadge," Washington scoffs. Ben clenches his fists by his sides.

"Then where is your compassion?" he tries, and Washington's eyes flash with something.

"Sometimes compassion has to come second to other things," says Washington, "Like common sense."

Ben is visibly shaking at this point, and Washington, who quickly looks Ben up and down, clearly notices. 

"Why won't you listen to me?" Ben demands, his voice raised. He immediately feels like a petulant child, but it's too late to take his words back. 

"Because you also haven't given me any reason to listen to you," Washington replies, his voice also raised. Ben knows that this is going to take a bad turn, but it's too late and he's so filled with anger that at this point he doesn't care anymore. "Have some sense, Tallmadge," continues Washington, and Ben knows he's just saying this to get a rise out of him. He's close to letting it work. 

"Out of the two people in this room," says Ben, still vibrating with anger, "I believe that I am the one who is thinking sensibly at the moment." After a short pause, he spits out a, "sir."

"Tallmadge, you continue to let your emotions and past relationships get ahead of your own intelligence," Washington says, clearly on the edge of anger. 

"Well maybe if you would listen to me and have some goddamn emotion for once!" Ben says. He realizes after the words are out that he had yelled them. 

"Do not tell me how to do my job, Tallmadge!" Washington yells back. They're standing uncomfortably close to each other and their eyes are locked. They're both breathing heavily and Ben is still shaking and feels like he is one second away from tears. There is an awkward pause, and then Washington speaks again. "In the new year, I'm sending you to Boston to appraise the status of their defenses," he says, and Ben just about shuts down completely. 

"What?" he says, feeling his heart pound and tears burn his eyes, "You're sending me out of camp? But-"

"You do not get to protest this, Tallmadge," Washington says, wearily, "Not this." 

"Sir, please-"

"You do not get to criticize my leadership and yell at me and then expect me to listen to your requests.”

"But I-"

"Stop."

"Please," Ben says, his voice now almost inaudible. He doesn't notice that there are tears that have spilled out of his eyes. Washington looks at him with pity. Ben doesn’t want his damn pity.

"My decision is made, Tallmadge," Washington says, "And that's final. I'm sorry." 

Ben finally realizes that he's crying. There is silence in the tent, where neither of them look at each other or speak. After a few minutes, Washington finally breaks the silence. "Wipe your tears, Benjamin," he says. Ben does, with shaking hands. 

Washington walks past him and leaves the tent without looking back. Usually, Washington would put a hand on Ben's shoulder when he departed, but not this time. With Washington gone, the tears begin to fall, faster. Ben stifles some sobs with his hands. What are they going to do? If Washington doesn't save Hewlett, who is clearly incapable of what he has been accused of, then at least one innocent man will die, possibly two if they can't find another way to get Abe away from the British. Ben is no longer head of intelligence. Washington will not listen, and will never forgive Ben for letting this happen with Abe. Ben wipes away the remnants of his tears and leaves the tent with trepidation permeating his heart. _What are they going to do?_

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so after the one scene with Ben in it last week I just HAD to write this. I couldn’t stop thinking about what could have happened in this scene and I’m sad we didn’t get to see it in the show. But it’s okay, I’ve got you. I wish I had included more physical closeness and more yelling, but I reaaally like the way this turned out. Some parts of the dialogue are taken directly from what Ben said in the scene that we did see. Yes, I took notes :-). I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
